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Anyone can host a baby shower. Traditionally the host is someone outside the expectant mother's family but today baby showers are hosted by family members, friends, coworkers, or pretty much anyone who wants to celebrate the upcoming birth with the mother-to-be.
Baby showers are usually held one to two months before the baby is due. You don't want to hold it too close to the due date in case the baby comes early and you want to hold it far enough away from the baby's arrival that the mother has time to organize all her gifts and return anything that she might need to.
Invitations should be sent out at least a few weeks before the party date. Give invitees enough time to plan for the date and buy a gift.
Showers usually last two to three hours and include refreshments, baby shower games, and watching the mother-to-be open her gifts. Some people give away shower gifts to all guests, but shower favors are not mandatory. Giving away small gifts as prizes for the games is also a nice idea but not mandatory.
Food at the baby shower usually consists of appetizers and finger food served in a buffet style, although you can provide a more formal full meal if desired. Typically there is also a baby themed cake presented to the mother-to-be and served to all guests.
If you're following tradition, the shower would be held at the host's home or the mother-to-be's church but it's also appropriate to hold it anywhere people can congregate such as at a restaurant, spa, or hotel.
The cost of the shower should be covered by the host(s) of the party. This might be one person or could be several people in order to split the cost.
The shower invitation should include the name of the mother-to-be and host(s), the location, date, time, directions, RSVP/contact information (include a phone number and email address), and where the expectant mother is registered. You can also include the theme of the party if there is one. If the mother is not registered, have her sign up at ReGiftMeNot so she gets the things she really wants and makes it easy for her guests to buy her gifts.
Historically men were not invited to baby showers, or the husband and any of his friends would only make an appearance at the end of the party. Today it is entirely appropriate to invite the father-to-be or other men to the baby shower. Just check with the expectant mother on who she wants to invite.
Guests should be greeted at the door by the host as they arrive.
The host or some other designated person at the party should take care of the mother-to-be during the party and make sure the event is as stress free as possible. Get any food and beverages for her, give her a hand if she needs help sitting down or getting up, hand the gifts to her as she opens them, make a list of who brought each gift so she can send Thank Yous, monitor her mood and amount of stimulation, basically cater to her during the party since she is the guest of honor.
It's ok to have more than one baby shower, but they just shouldn't be hosted by the same people. Having more than one baby shower, for instance one thrown by friends and one thrown by co-workers, is very common these days.
Showers are traditionally thrown only for the first child but it's common place in today's world to have a shower for each birth a mother has. Usually the mother has most of what she needs from the first child but people love to throw showers and share in the excitement of a new baby, no matter if the pregnancy is the first, third, or other.
In the case of adoption, showers are still appropriate. Just make sure to hold it after the adoption is complete and avoid references to pregnancy during the shower.
A Thank You note should be sent to each person who gave a gift. Handwritten notes are always the best but email, phone calls, or thanking in person are other acceptable alternatives to sending cards. Be sure to personalize your Thank Yous, thank the person for their attendance at the shower (if applicable) and mention the gift given and what you liked about it. Technically, if you thank someone in person at the time you receive the gift you aren't required to send a Thank You note, however most people expect to receive a hand written Thank You note after giving a gift at an event like a baby shower. The proper thing to do it to send a hand written, personalized Thank You note to everyone who attended the party and/or gave the mother a gift. Send Thank Yous out within a few weeks after the shower.
Shower Guests
If you are attending a shower you should always bring a gift.
If you are invited but can't attend, it's nice to still send a gift but it is not expected. Etiquette dictates you don't need to send a gift if you can't attend the party.
Check the expectant mother's baby registry. You can always buy something not on the registry but the things the mother-to-be has picked out might give you an idea of the type of items she needs most. Check to see if the mother-to-be has a ReGiftMeNot GiftBox, ReGiftMeNot Registry so you can get her the gifts she really wants while making it easy on yourself to shop for the perfect gift!
There is no minimum (or maximum) dollar amount you should spend on a gift. But it's better to not be overly cheap (like a $2.00 gift) or excessively extravagant (like a diamond studded pacifier). You don't want your gift to appear like an afterthought or make the mother-to-be uncomfortable by how much you spent compared to everyone else. If you want to buy a pricey item, consider having a few people go in on it to split the cost and equalize things.
For a first baby, gifts are usually practical items such as clothes, diapers, blankets, bottle. Anything you'd need to take care of a baby. For second, third, or any number after the first baby, get a little more creative with your gifts since the mother-to-be likely has most of the baby staples left over from the first. However, with any new baby, a mother can always use more of the consumables such as diapers, formula, and baby wash. And if the mother is having the opposite sex from her previous children she'll need a few new baby clothes.
Birth Announcements
Announcements go to anyone who you want to know about your new addition to your family. This usually means all your friends and family. You might also send an announcement to your co-workers since they will also want to see your new bundle of joy. When in doubt, it's better to send an announcement than to risk offending someone by leaving them off the list.
According to strict etiquette, birth announcements should be sent as soon as possible, usually within the couple months from when the baby is born. But anyone who's ever lived with a newborn knows that may be easier said than done. Don't stress about the etiquette deadline, get your birth announcements out as soon as you can after you get adjusted to your new life and can find the energy to get them together. If it's been longer than three months, consider making the announcement an insert with a holiday card (for whatever card sending occasion is coming up) or make it a family photo/birth announcement combo. Etiquette dictates announcements should really be sent no later than six months after the birth. To make it easier to get announcements out in a timely manner, find announcements before the baby arrives (pick ones to order online or buy cards at the store) and address envelopes prior to the birth.
Birth announcements do not obligate people to buy presents and are not considered requests for gifts, according to the rules of etiquette. Recipients shouldn't feel like they need to send a gift if they receive a birth announcement. While many people do send presents, the family sending the announcements shouldn't mail them out with the expectation of getting presents in return. That being said, it is proper for the recipient to call the new parents or send a card.
Etiquette dictates it is not proper to put "no gifts" on the announcement. It's better to leave the decision to send gifts up to the recipient.
You don't need to handwrite the announcements or include personalized notes in each one.
If you do receive gifts after mailing out announcements, be sure to send Thank You notes (as you should for any gifts given at any time). Handwritten notes are always the best. Be sure to personalize the Thank You by mentioning the gift given and what you like about it.
Typically a birth announcement includes a photo of the baby and the little one's birth weight, length, time, date, and location. But these aren't mandatory items. If you aren't comfortable listing the birth weight, length, or other, leave it off. Most likely, people are still going to ask you for those detail though so be prepared. You'd want to include the birth date at the very least.
Parents names can be included on the birth announcement but are not mandatory. How they are listed depends on how formal you want the announcement to be. Using the format "Mr. and Mrs. Brad Pitt" is more formal than using "Angelina and Brad Pitt", which is more formal than using "Angelina and Brad". If the parents have different last names, both their first and last names should be included, as well as the first and last name of the baby. For example, "Proud Parents Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt introduce their son/daughter Starbaybee Jolie-Pitt".
In cases where the parents are not married or are divorced/separated, include the baby's first and last name so recipients know whose name the baby was given. If the parents are not together, they may choose to send separate announcements with just their name (and the baby's full name) to their respective family and friends. Or simply don't include the names of the parents on the announcement.
Birth announcements aren't just for the first child. You can send announcements for each child you have (or adopt), regardless of how many that may end up being.
The names of siblings can also be included on the announcement. Doing so is a trend that is increasing in popularity. Siblings names could be included with parents names or be listed separately. For example, you might include wording such as "Big Sister Sophia is proud to introduce..." or "Proud Parents and Big Brother Austin are happy to introduce...".
Grandparents names can be included on the announcement as well. They should be listed below the parents names.
For twins, triplets, or other multiples, you can send an announcement for each child or you can list them all on one. If they are all listed on one announcement, make sure the name of each child is listed on a separate line.
For adopted children, announcements can be sent just as they would be for births. The wording may be different, but announcements can be sent regardless of the child's age to announce the addition to your family. If the child is not a baby, you could still include their birth date or might include their birth country if they are not from the United States.